上周为一研三学生润色题为“Numerical Simulation Research on Influencing Factors of Water Flowing Fractured Zone Development in a Coal Mine”（某煤矿导水裂隙带发育规律影响因素数值模拟）的论文摘要（原文：The height of water flowing fractured zone is one main factors that affect the water inrush in mine. Based on the background of fully mechanized caving mining conditions in a coal mine, FLAC3D software was used to simulates and analyzes the influence of working face length, mining depth and mining face advance on the height of water flowing fractured zone development under the condition of fixed mining height, reveal the development law of water diversion fracture zone in the mine. Research show that the mine 2-2 coal seam under the condition of mining height is 6 meters, coal seam roof water flowing fractured zone height and working face length, mining depth into a better positive correlation, and negative correlation between mining face advance, ultimately determine the 2-2 coal seam’s ratio of fractured zone height to mining height is 27.8. The research results have important guiding significance to the work of mine water prevention and control）。

   该摘要比较简短，但错误却不少 --- 有的是语法错误，有的是语义表达混乱的致命错误。下面笔者欲将该摘要逐句剖析，与读者分享修正过程。 

   首先，从题目“Numerical Simulation Research on Influencing Factors of Water Flowing Fractured Zone Development in a Coal Mine”开始。该题目中的“Research”应删掉；“Influencing”应修改为“Influential”，笔者在此还想再强调一下，“influential factor”是“影响因素”的较为地道的表达；另外，“water-conducting fracture zone”似乎比“Water Flowing Fractured Zone”更地道一些。因此，建议该题目应修改为“Numerical Simulation on Influential Factors of Water-Conducting Fracture Zone Development in a Coal Mine”。 

   摘要第一句“The height of water flowing fractured zone is one main factors that affect the water inrush in mine”中的“one main factors”应修正为“one of the main factors”。因此，该句应修改为“The height of water-conducting fracture zone is one of the main factors that affect the water inrush in mine”。 

   第二句“Based on the background of fully mechanized caving mining conditions in a coal mine, FLAC3D software was used to simulates and analyzes the influence of working face length, mining depth and mining face advance on the height of water flowing fractured zone development under the condition of fixed mining height, reveal the development law of water diversion fracture zone in the mine”中的“was used to simulates and analyzes”出现了明显的语法错误；另外，根据该句要表达的意思，笔者建议将“reveal”修改为“revealing”。因此，该句应修改为“Based on the background of fully mechanized caving mining in a coal mine, FLAC3D software was used to simulate and analyze the influence of the working face length, mining depth and mining face advance on the height of water-conducting fracture zone development under the condition of fixed mining height, revealing the development law of water-conducting fracture zone in the mine”。 

   第三句“Research show that the mine 2-2 coal seam under the condition of mining height is 6 meters, coal seam roof water flowing fractured zone height and working face length, mining depth into a better positive correlation, and negative correlation between mining face advance, ultimately determine the 2-2 coal seam’s ratio of fractured zone height to mining height is 27.8”中的问题较多，语义也十分混乱，特别是“coal seam roof water flowing fractured zone height and working face length, mining depth into a better positive correlation, and negative correlation between mining face advance”更是让人丈二和尚摸不着头脑。所以，笔者对该句动了“大手术”，最终将其修改为“Research shows that at the mining height of 6 meters, the relationship between the 2-2 coal seam roof’s water-conducting fracture zone development height and the working face length and mining depth is of a better positive correlation, and a negative correlation is presented between the water-conducting fracture zone development height and mining face advance. Eventually, the ratio between the fracture zone development height and mining height for the 2-2 coal seam is determined to be 27.8”。